The Hidden Harm of School Behaviour Policies

The Hidden Harm of School Behaviour Policies
A PDA Society Podcast Episode with Beth from Lily Oaks Psychological & Counselling Practice

What happens when school behaviour policies misunderstand anxiety as defiance?

In this powerful and compassionate conversation, Rachel from the PDA Society is joined by Beth from Lily Oaks Psychological & Counselling Practice to explore why traditional school behaviour systems can be deeply harmful for PDA children and other neurodivergent pupils.

Drawing on over 20 years of experience supporting autistic and ADHD children, as well as her work as a counsellor, SEND advisor, and parent, Beth unpacks the hidden emotional impact of sanctions, rewards, isolation, and “consequence-based” approaches in schools.

Together, Rachel and Beth explore how behaviour is often a form of communication — not a deliberate choice — and why many PDA children arrive at school already overwhelmed by demands, anxiety, sensory pressures, and social expectations.

THIS EPISODE COVERS

• Why behaviour policies often escalate anxiety rather than support children
• The hidden pressures PDA children experience before the school day has even begun
• Why rewards and consequences frequently fail neurodivergent pupils
• How detentions, isolation, and sanctions can damage trust and self-esteem
• The long-term mental health impact of repeated punishment and misunderstanding
• Why school avoidance and emotionally based school distress can develop
• Practical examples of more compassionate, flexible, and effective approaches
• How schools and families can work together to support children more successfully

Beth also shares real-life examples from her practice, highlighting how small changes in approach — connection, curiosity, flexibility, and understanding — can dramatically change outcomes for children, families, and schools alike.

WHO SHOULD LISTEN?

This podcast is essential listening for:

• Parents and carers of PDA and neurodivergent children
• Teachers and school staff
• SENCOs and pastoral teams
• Mental health and education professionals
• Anyone wanting to better understand anxiety-driven behaviour in children

Listeners will come away with:

• A deeper understanding of PDA
• Fresh insight into the emotional impact of school systems
• Practical ideas for creating safer, more supportive educational experiences for all children

FURTHER SOURCES OF SUPPORT AND INFORMATION

More podcasts available on the PDA Society Training Hub:
https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/

PDA Society Training:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/

PDA Society Support Service:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/

GUEST LINKS

www.lilyoakspractice.co.uk

DISCLAIMER

The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society.

While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA and autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs.

Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.