PDA and personal hygiene
If you’re a PDAer struggling with personal hygiene tasks, you’re not alone. Many PDAers find regular self-care tasks like showering, brushing teeth, or changing clothes challenging. Even though you may like feeling clean and presentable, sensory issues and too many demands can make hygiene feel overwhelming. On this page we look at why it could be hard for you and suggest some ideas which could help.
Why PDAers can struggle with personal hygiene tasks
Regular hygiene activities, including ones we choose, can feel like demands. For many PDAers, just knowing you “have to” take a shower or “should” brush your teeth can really raise anxiety levels. To feel safer and more in control the demand is avoided. This makes it hard to start or follow through with tasks. Here are some other reasons it can feel difficult:
Executive function
The brain’s “planning and doing” system can be an area many neurodivergent people struggle with. How to do the task, sorting out the steps needed and being able to finish it can take a lot of mental effort. You might feel “stuck” thinking about the steps involved.
Sensory issues
Some PDAers also have sensory processing differences. Personal hygiene activities often involve a sensory change. Some people find this soothing or refreshing but it might feel unpleasant or even painful. Water can run too hot or cold and toiletries may have a strong smell. The feeling of a toothbrush and toothpaste can be overwhelming. Transitioning from being in warm water to being cold and having to dry yourself quickly can be tricky and raise anxiety. These sensory issues may give you another reason to avoid tasks because they feel uncomfortable.
Lacking energy
PDAers often juggle high anxiety levels throughout the day, and this uses up a lot of energy. If you’ve spent all day getting through work or other responsibilities, you might have nothing left in the tank for a shower at night. Some PDA adults report that if they need to do something stressful, like
attending a big event. They conserve energy by dropping non essential tasks like washing hair for a while. This is a coping mechanism, not a failing.
Understanding these factors isn’t about making excuses, it’s about being kind to yourself. When you know why these things feel hard to do, you can start to let go of feeling frustrated and find ways to work around it.
Making hygiene feel more manageable
Reminding yourself that you have a choice can really take the pressure off. Telling yourself that it’s okay not to do the task might mean you suddenly feel more able to do it. It can be a way of reclaiming control, so you feel less avoidance. Other things that could help may include:
Different things work for different people. What you find helpful one day may not be useful the next time you try it. Trying different approaches and changing them when you need, keeps things flexible.
You could try seeking out other PDAers or neurodivergent folks who “get it.” This might be through online communities, a local support group, or friends. Connecting with others who have similar struggles can be incredibly validating. They may be able to offer some hacks you hadn’t thought of or offer moral support on tough days. It’s good to rememberthat your worth as a person isn’t measured by how often you wash your hair. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.
Where did this information come from?
PDAers and their families often tell us how confusing and unsettling it can be to meet new professionals - especially when it's not clear what their job is or what good support looks like. That’s why we asked professionals themselves to tell us, in their own words, what they do. You’ll find their honest, personal answers in the ‘What professionals do’ section of our site.
This is a growing resource, so if you don’t see the role you’re looking for yet, you could ask the person you're working with to fill in this short form.