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Understanding and supporting distressed behaviours in PDAers

Distressed behaviours can be incredibly upsetting to witness and experience. Whether you’re a parent, carer, or a PDAer yourself, recognising what these behaviours truly represent—and how best to respond—can be transformative in creating safer, more supportive environments.

What can distressed behaviours look like?

Distressed behaviours in PDAers are often complex, multifaceted, and easily misinterpreted. They may include:

Meltdowns: intense emotional outbursts that may include shouting, crying, or physical aggression.

Shutdowns: a withdrawal from interaction, potentially appearing as refusal, silence, or dissociation.Flight behaviours: running away or avoiding situations, sometimes without warning.

Self-injurious actions: Harming oneself as an outlet for overwhelming emotionalor sensory distress.

Verbal or physical aggression: often misunderstood as oppositional but typically rooted in extreme anxiety or panic.

These behaviours are best understood as panic attacks – strong, involuntary responses to overwhelming demand or anxiety.

What helps?

1. Reframing behaviour- you might start by viewing distressed behaviours through a lens of compassion, understanding that the person is communicating as well as they can right now.
“We like to think of it as a panic attack… not a defiant sort of challenge to authority. It’s when we are overwhelmed as autistic people.”— Karen (PDA Society)
2. Creating safe recovery spaces – by having (or being) a calm, predictable place where the PDAer can go when feeling overwhelmed.
3. Being a quiet presence can be more helpful than engagement sometimes.
“Being able to be completely invisible if needed, just on the sort of sidelines.” — Luna*

Supporting a PDAer means looking beneath behaviours to discover unmet needs. It also requires balancing compassion with practical support. Distressed behaviours happen when a person is overwhelmed – and it is much more comfortable for everyone if help is offered earlier and those behaviours are reduced.

In depth information about shifting your mindset and helpful approaches to support PDAers can be found here (INSERT LINK WHEN WE AVE IT). Used compassionately and consistently they can help PDAers live happier lives, where distressed behaviours and the anxiety that causes them are less of a feature.

Where did this information come from?

PDAers and their families often tell us how confusing and unsettling it can be to meet new professionals - especially when it's not clear what their job is or what good support looks like. That’s why we asked professionals themselves to tell us, in their own words, what they do. You’ll find their honest, personal answers in the ‘What professionals do’ section of our site.

What professionals Do

This is a growing resource, so if you don’t see the role you’re looking for yet, you could ask the person you're working with to fill in this short form.

Short Form

Helpful Links

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Diagnosing PDA in children
Diagnosing PDA in adults